I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
