people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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