as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize