i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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