I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
