Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You've changed since you got that strap on
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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