Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize