once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
