and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Actions speak louder than pants.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
