Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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