my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
this is an emotional support booty call
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
