On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my sisters under your porch take her home
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
