The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
COCAINE IS GR8
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
