I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
