Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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