O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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