my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
