pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
