Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize