Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
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