The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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