You really coming over, don't trick.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
