the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
