Are we in a gay sports bar?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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