I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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