well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
