The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
