Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
