She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
