That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
