Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
