Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize