I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
