U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
