Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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