Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
