I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize