What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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