I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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