Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
