the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
