that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Come on in and take your pants off
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