We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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