is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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