turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize