And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
