No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
