Non-Jews are for practice
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize