He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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