so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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