I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
