He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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