The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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