WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
