I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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