There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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