Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
