She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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