I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
