i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
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I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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