i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
