White coat. Heels.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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