i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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