What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
