she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You are a genius and a whore.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
