Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
