I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
