I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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